Gone is 2019 and 2020...... I was on a roll for a tiny bit at the end of 2019 and then got sidetracked with putting my thoughts down and sharing them with other people. I wondered why? Maybe it was because COVID derailed my focus, or maybe if I was being really honest I didn't really think anyone cared what I had to say. But does it really matter if anyone cares? I am often surprised on how I can find my cup more easily filled by a quick note of appreciation from someone else versus a brief moment of self admiration. I am not really good at self recognition or praise. Still trying to work on it and still struggling. However, I find that when I am in my weekly bible plans I become less focused on me and more on HIM. When I allow myself to get lost in the idea that I don't need to worry so much about what others think it is like coming up out of the water from drowning and being able to capture a huge breath of fresh air. I tend to slow down, be less self critical,
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Sticks and Stones
Sticks and Stones https://youtu.be/sa1iS1MqUy4?si=rpiUCfu_61UsgHXU I have listened to this free style poem as a Ted Talk by Shane Koyczan at least 3 times so far since Monday. My heart lurches out of my chest as I remember feeling lost, unaccepted and afraid as a child. His words reach out and tug at my soul and I cry out inside "I hear you". Sticks and Stones may break our bones but, YES words do hurt tremendously. I remember being called names and ridiculed, day after day after day....and I was told "Kids will be Kids" and "You just need to get over it". My 4th grade year just seemed to be a groundhog day of repetitive shaming and ridicule. And STILL to this day some adults have said "Haven't you ever gotten over that?". The school was a twilight zone in which it was... normal that kids were cruel, and being nice just got you hurt normal that kids called you names, some so cruel, and vial that I didn't even
Where to Begin?
Where to Begin? "Vulnerable Strength" Really....? That's what you want to call this blog??? Who in the world is going to read beyond this crazy title? Anyone??? Bueller,,,,, Bueller.....??? Why is it that I have to think and rethink myself out of EVERY.... SINGLE..... THING, that I feel called to do? The lies in my heads are loud and clear - THIS IS STUPID! You are not good enough, or worthy enough to share....haven't you learned your lesson yet? The proverbial angel on my right shoulder says - "You are worthy"...."You are uniquely made....and your stories have meaning"...."You have purpose". The Questions is?.....what am I doing here? What do I want to do with this blog? I have TONS of thoughts. It all started with me watching my son grow and change, and I find myself up every night reminiscing about the good, the bad, and the downright crazy that has occurred over my life time and his....how life goes