Gone is 2019 and 2020......
I was on a roll for a tiny bit at the end of 2019 and then got sidetracked with putting my thoughts down and sharing them with other people. I wondered why? Maybe it was because COVID derailed my focus, or maybe if I was being really honest I didn't really think anyone cared what I had to say.
But does it really matter if anyone cares? I am often surprised on how I can find my cup more easily filled by a quick note of appreciation from someone else versus a brief moment of self admiration. I am not really good at self recognition or praise. Still trying to work on it and still struggling. However, I find that when I am in my weekly bible plans I become less focused on me and more on HIM.
When I allow myself to get lost in the idea that I don't need to worry so much about what others think it is like coming up out of the water from drowning and being able to capture a huge breath of fresh air. I tend to slow down, be less self critical, and more open to the good around me. Now, if I could just keep that momentum going......
I need guidance and direction, and am hoping that in this season I will be more likely to figure out what my calling is, what my purpose for this season has become, and whether or not I am headed down the right path. Without, becoming super self critical. I need Jesus to lead me but, I have to allow myself to be lead if I want help - another thing I am not good at doing - asking for help.
I read this yesterday during my bible plan for the day: "The vulnerable practice of sharing our wants and desires deepens our capacity for intimacy with God and with others". I am trying to focus on this idea a bit and trying to figure out safe spaces, people, and places to share. I hope that you all will be able to do this too. If you are looking for a person though - I might be able to help :)
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